Have My Baby (Dirty DILFs Book 1) Read online

  It still didn’t make sense that he wanted me to be a gestational host to his spawn. A spawn he planted himself.

  Thank God for padded bras. Otherwise my damn nipples would be on display. Just thinking about him planting anything inside me stirred me up in ways I didn’t want to examine. And if my hand strayed a little farther down my body to cup my middle, then I was entitled. It was still a shock to think Seth might want me that way in any capacity.

  At least if we did a fertility clinic then it wouldn’t be so…messy. Getting skin to skin would only screw things up. I wasn’t exactly the type of girl who could remove myself from the sexual component.

  And it was only partially because I hadn’t gotten truly naked with anyone in my life. I’d had a few opportunities, but it never seemed to work out.

  I wasn’t as picky as Sage, but I was definitely a special head case thanks to my home situation. Since my mom had only been gone for a handful of months, it didn’t make sense that I’d jump right into the dating scene. Especially when I didn’t have time to sleep let alone try to form coherent sentences during a date.

  Did I mention that this situation was fucked up? Because it so was.

  I grabbed my purse off one of the two chairs left in the kitchen. “You good to get home?”

  “No problem.” She gulped down the remaining butter-colored liquid and set the glasses in the sink.

  I frowned at her.

  Sage rolled her eyes. “That wine was like drinking a diet, watered down beer.”

  “Better safe than sorry.”

  “Okay, big sis, relax yourself. Just because Scorer Seth wants to get jiggy with it doesn’t mean you have to analyze every move I’m making.”

  “I know.” I blew out a breath and wondered why I’d ever told her about Seth’s old high school nickname. “I know.”

  “Good. Now do I need to give you the talk?”

  Horrified, I unrolled the sleeves of my T-shirt. “What talk?”

  “I think you know about the birds and the bees. At least I hope you’ve at least watched those romantic cable movies after midnight that are almost porn.”

  “Um, that’s a little TMI, don’t you think?” It wasn’t, but I was great at stalling.

  “Is there anything off the table with us at this point? I now know you have been propositioned to be a gestational incubator.”

  “I suppose not. And no, I’m good, thanks. Think I know how Tab A fits into slot B.”

  Big Tab A, from all the talk Seth was throwing around. Probably trying to sweeten the pot.

  Sage glanced at my shirt. “At least that part’s fitting.”

  I glanced down at my “I Can’t Adult Today” shirt and my cutoff shorts. I really wished I had time to change. Then again, the quicker I got Laurie settled, the quicker I could go home and soak in a tub before work in the morning.

  Or maybe I would just climb in with the kid.

  I shook my head. No, that wasn’t happening. Extra time at Seth’s was a no-go tonight and for the foreseeable future.

  I grabbed my iPad and my iPencil and dumped them into my purse. My Christmas present from Seth last year kept his daughter endlessly entertained. Could’ve been the eight coloring apps I had on it too.

  Hurrying outside, I waved to Sage as I climbed into my trusty Subaru Outback. Then I headed to Seth’s place on the opposite side of the lake. My old house was on the fringes of town, but I’d made this trip plenty of times. And most of them actually didn’t involve a cry for help from Seth.

  He was a really good dad, but Laurie was asserting her independence. She was very much like her father, and I’d known they would butt heads eventually.

  I toyed with my arrow necklace as the lakeside road curved around the bend. The gazebo and the pier came into view. It was late enough that most of the pedestrian traffic was light as people finished up dinners and the shops started closing up for the night.

  It was late for Laurie to be up. If she was already down for the night by the time I got there, I was going to string Seth up by his short and curlies.

  My car made the steep climb up to the mansions on the far side of the lake. They were surrounded by gates of all kinds to keep the riffraff out, and the moneyed in. The house Seth had chosen for his home with Laurie after his divorce definitely wasn’t at the top of the scale, but they definitely weren’t slumming it.

  Hamiltons never did.

  According to my mother, a Hamilton had been in residence since the town had been established. In fact, the town had nearly been named Hamilton Cove, but some of the residents had fought for the name to be a bit more welcoming. Hamilton sounded so stern.

  Much like the men, and the women, of the line. Seth even had his moments of stoic behavior, but Laurie had definitely changed him for the better.

  I parked in the long, winding driveway and sat with my fingers wrapped around the steering wheel. There were wear marks from a hundred thousand miles of me gripping them. From the various levels of news about my mom’s sickness, to money issues, to frustration—all of the handprints were carved into this wheel.

  Tonight it was nerves and frustration adding another layer to the already worn gray leather. I wasn’t ready to face Seth, but his little girl trumped all. In fact, she was the reason for much of the drama in my life right now.

  Seth wouldn’t have looked twice at me if Laurie hadn’t vocalized her very passionate view on having a sister. A brother wasn’t really in her purview, though Seth tried to indicate she was open to either. We both knew it was female or bust in this princess’s life.

  I leaned over and dug my sandals out of my canvas bag, swapping my dusty ancient sneakers for more comfortable shoes. Especially if bath time troubles were in my future.

  I was pretty sure my poor feet swelled to double their size the minute I took my sneakers off. I needed to be horizontal for a week.

  My heart raced at the thought. No.

  No.

  No.

  Not that kind of horizontal.

  I peered into my bag for any other goodies. I was good at packing extras of most things, including clothing, but nope. Dusty T-shirt and cutoffs it was. My backup shirt had been used when a toddler sprayed me with ketchup yesterday.

  I slammed the door and tromped through the river rock edging the wide driveway, then up the grand staircase. Solar lights flared from large lamps flanking the double entry door. The aged walnut wood screamed of money and affluence.

  I didn’t even get the pretense of knocking. A blood-curdling scream had me pulling the large door open.

  “Laurie Elizabeth Hamilton, that is enough.” A rare bellow from Seth kicked my heart rate into high gear as I hit the stairs at two at a time.

  “No boys allowed!”

  “I washed your hair two days ago and you didn’t say a thing then, young lady.”

  Uh-oh. He’d dragged out young lady. This wasn’t going to be good.

  I came around the corner to find a frazzled Seth crouched next to the door with his fingers fisted in his hair. The dark wavy strands were sticking up in damp tufts. Wet splotches arced across his chest and his arms were beaded with water.

  “Didn’t even let you get a towel, huh?”

  He spun on the balls of his feet and stood. “Thank God.”

  He was wearing his oldest jeans—you know, the kind that were worn at all the good stress points—with bare feet and a waterlogged blue Oxford dress shirt open a few extra buttons to show off way too much of his chest. There was obviously no justice in this world.

  “I just tried to go in again. I’m her father, for God’s sake. We just had a bath the other day without incident.”

  “That was the other day.” I swallowed down my nerves. If he could act normal, I could act normal. I strode down the hall and knocked on the door briskly. “Hey, can I come in, munchkin?”

  “Ally! Do you have my Care Bear bubbles?”

  “Honey, you dumped your tubby bubbles, remember?” Seth called through the door.
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  “No! My bubbles. I want bubbles.”

  I looked over my shoulder. “Does she mean like blowing bubbles?”

  Seth tipped his head back. So much throat and chest on display. His chest was mostly smooth save for a sprinkle of dark hair between his pecs. I’d seen him without a shirt a million times, but now just seemed so much worse. God, stop looking.

  “Honey, we play with those outside.”

  “No!” Laurie screeched.

  My eyebrows shot up. “Tell me you have bubbles.”

  His dark brows knitted, then cleared. “Yes. I have to go get them.” He started to stride down the hall then stopped. “Are you okay?”

  I rolled my eyes. “You’re asking this now?”

  His gaze dropped to my chest and his eyes heated briefly. “Your shirt says maybe not.”

  I glanced down at the words on my chest and cursed my headlights coming out to play. Timing was wrong as always, but this time there was a weight to it I didn’t want to examine. At all. “Yeah, well, adulting comes around whether you want it to or not.” I opened the door and slid inside before he could say another word.

  The little girl in the tub obliterated any other issue I had with daddy dearest. I put my hands on my hips. “I hear you’re giving your dad some trouble.”

  Laurie grinned up at me, her freakishly long eyelashes starred from the water. She was sitting in about six inches of water that was mostly foam. She also had an array of plastic ducks, fish, whales, dolphins, and yes, Care Bears in the tub with her. She held a bright pink netted puff in her hand as she painstakingly washed her blue Care Bear.

  Fittingly, it was a plastic version of Grumpy Bear.

  Just like me.

  Well, until this little girl was in my space. I couldn’t be grumpy around her, even if I wanted to strangle her sometimes. Cuteness always won out.

  She smiled up at me with a dimple winking. “This is a girls’ party.”

  I kneeled beside her and brushed her damp bangs out of her face. “Is that so?”

  She nodded and bit her lower lip in concentration as she washed under Grumpy’s armpit.

  “Grumpy is a boy.”

  She looked up at me with a knitted brow so much like her father’s. A blond version, but all the rest was the same. “Grumpy is a bear,” she said as if that made all the difference.

  I supposed for an almost four-year-old, it really did. I shrugged. “All righty then.”

  I turned on the taps to add to the water to bubbles ratio. From the looks of the bottle on the side of the tub, Laurie had been using a heavy hand.

  When she lifted the bottle and started to pour more on the puff, I made a grab for it.

  She stuck out her lower lip. “I need that.”

  I swooped up a froth of bubbles and settled it on top of her puff. “There you go.” When she still frowned, I took another dollop and settled it on her nose.

  She giggled.

  Now we were in business. By the time Seth came back, I had her hair washed and was chaperoning her hygiene rituals. I’d already made the mistake of trying to help there.

  I’d been an independent kid too, but I didn’t remember a lot about my childhood. Just moving a lot. And I’d learned to shower far earlier than a lot of my friends. Sitting in bathtubs in some of the places we’d lived wasn’t the best idea.

  Seth knocked on the door.

  “No! No boys.”

  A clunking sound made me frown and then Seth’s lacrosse stick came through the door with a bottle of bubbles in the netting. I laughed and stood.

  Laurie giggled. “Thank you, Daddy!”

  I took the bubbles. “You’re a dork.”

  “Daddy’s a dork.”

  “Great. Thanks. She’ll be saying that for days.”

  “Fitting.”

  “Har-har. Everything okay in there, girls? It’s way past bedtime.”

  “Almost done.” Laurie slapped her hand on the water. “Go away.”

  “I’m going.”

  I snaked a finger through the crack in the door and flicked a nail over the back of his hand. “We’re fine.”

  He let out a slow breath. “Thanks.”

  “Of course.” I rubbed my hand over my breastbone and went back to his daughter with the bubbles. I unscrewed the cap. “Okay, you get one blast of bubbles for each friend you finish washing.”

  “Deal.” She dunked her dolphin into the water and it came out gleaming. She set it on the shelf along the back of the tub. “Go.”

  I pulled the double wand out and blew out a stream of rainbow bubbles.

  “Me. I want to do it.”

  “Two more of your buddies and you got it.”

  The big whale and baby whale got dunked and deposited on the shelf. I dunked the wand and handed it to her.

  “No, I want to do it.”

  “You are wet and soapy, kiddo. We don’t want these to fall in, do we?”

  She scrunched up her nose and lips. “No. I guess not.” She shrugged and took the wand. She blew too hard and only got three bubbles. “Hey.”

  I took it back and dunked. “Easy. Soft. Yes, just like that.”

  When the stream of bubbles floated up, she clapped. Five minutes later, there were many squeaky clean fish guarding her tub and a pruny almost four-year-old standing with a purple towel on her head and fluffy pink Care Bears towel wrapped around her.

  Before she could find another reason to extend her bath time, I swooped her out and deposited her on the bath mat. I wrapped another towel around her and started a rubdown. By the time she was mostly dry, she was still giggling and I was laughing with her.

  I hadn’t even known this was exactly what I needed to even me out.

  “Okay, Daddy, we’re ready.”

  He opened the door so fast, I knew he’d stood out there the entire time. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. Didn’t he trust me?

  Then I looked down at the crazy monkey in my arms and her adoring eyes only for him. There was no way I could get upset about that. Laurie reached for him and suddenly I was forty pounds lighter.

  He looked down at me, his eyes flashing for a moment as he dropped his gaze over my wet shirt. I pulled it away from my traitorous nipples and turned away from him to pick up the bubbles and empty bottle of soap.

  He cleared his throat before burying his face in Laurie’s neck. She giggled and squirmed, causing the towel on her hair to fall to the floor. “I’m just going to get her dressed.”

  “Yeah, good idea. I’ll just clean up.”

  “Don’t worry about that. You’ve done more than enough.”

  “It’s fine.”

  “No, really. The nanny will take care of it.”

  “Right.” Of course he had a nanny for her. I’d talked to her a million times. I didn’t know her duties included cleaning a bathroom, but he was right this wasn’t my house or my life.

  He just wanted me to create a human, not take care of one. Even if he did call on me to help.

  Would he do the same with my—our—his… God. How would I even classify him or her? Mine?

  Ours.

  I fisted my hands into my hair and tugged out my messy bun. “Fuck.”

  In the hallway, I could hear giggling and Seth’s baritone voice. The love obvious between them. His heart was so huge for that little girl. It might be a little more reserved for others. He used charm to deflect emotions for other people in his life.

  I’d seen it firsthand. The way my customers reacted to him. That half-grin and easy way with conversation left everyone at ease. And half the town’s female population would jump at the chance to do what he’d asked me to do.

  But they would want more.

  Every woman wanted more in his eyes. Mostly because of the lenses that Marjorie had left behind when she’d walked away from Laurie. He just assumed most women wanted something from him. And part of me understood that.

  He could grant me opportunities that I’d have to work my ass to achieve. But then
again, they would be my achievements. No one else’s.

  Part of me wanted to just up and leave this town and start over. Even if that meant I would be in debt up to my eyeballs for the next thirty years. It would be my debt, and my life, and a fresh start.

  I lifted the towel that had fallen off of Laurie’s head and hung it on the pink unicorn hook on the wall. And because I couldn’t stand to leave the mess in the bathroom, I listened to Seth tell his daughter a bedtime story as I tidied up.

  When the rumble of his voice faded and I heard his footfalls, I shut off the light and met him in the hall.

  He frowned at me. “I told you—”

  I held up my hand. “Already done.” I crossed to him and ducked under his arm to enter Laurie’s room. His burnt sugar cologne mixed with the baby shampoo scent of his kid and my hormones decided that was the perfect aphrodisiac. Did I mention my life was unfair?

  I focused on the little lump on the middle of the full-sized mattress. The bed was way too big for her, but she was surrounded by Care Bears and stuffed animals from various Disney movies. Dory, Hank, and the guppy from Little Mermaid guarded her. A nightlight spun from her bedside table, shooting starlight around her room.

  Pink and perfect in every way. This little girl had everything I didn’t have growing up. No wonder he wanted to give her the world.

  I just wasn’t sure I was the one to help him.

  “She’s out.”

  I lifted my shoulder in reaction to his deep voice against my ear. He slid his arm around my waist and pulled me away from the doorway. He shut the door most of the way, then pulled me down the hall.

  “I don’t want to wake her.”

  I nodded. Understandable, of course. He needed to back up though. I couldn’t handle him in my space for extended periods of time. Even if I’d initiated it this time. What the hell had I been thinking?

  Oh, right. I wasn’t really thinking. Actually, it had been a luxury I couldn’t afford for years. I was really good at ignoring my feelings for him. Why did he have to go and ruin it? Now all I could imagine was what he tasted like.

  Fuck.

  I tried to pull away, but he pulled me back against him. “Don’t go.”

  I closed my eyes. “Please don’t.”